Web of Lies
by IoliteofEchoriath
Summary: When darkness descends over the faerie realm, England finds himself entangled in an ancient plot. Meanwhile, a cold woman calling herself Europa finally begins her ascent to power. No slash.
1. Chapter 1

**So the first several chapters of this story have been laying around for years. I've been really shy about posting them, but I finally decided to throw this to the wolves in the hope that some of you find it enjoyable.**

 _ **Italics indicate past**_ **events.**

 **Important Note: This is fiction, set sometime in the near future, in an alternate reality similar but not identical to our own. I do not mean to provide commentary on the real world or any current events.**

London

Alistair Kirkland tugged at his messy auburn hair and was tempted to hit his head on the mahogany desk a few times. The paperwork overfloweth. It was everywhere, and it was all his brother's fault. Three weeks ago, Arthur had come to Edinburgh and asked if Scotland would take over for him at his office in the Houses of Parliament. "I am not remembering agreeing to this," Alistair grumbled to himself as he signed another form with an angry flourish.

 _Scotland flicked his wrist and watched as the omelette flipped over perfectly in his frying pan. Let's see Arthur pull that off! Just then there was a knock at the door. "Will ye speak of the devil!" Alistair proclaimed as he strode over the door, still in a good mood, with it being a lazy Sunday morning after all. He opened it to find a stone-faced Arthur who wearily eyed the steaming frying pan in Alistair's hand._

" _Alistair, I need your help. I think something has happened in the faerie world."_

" _What, the cold is ruining their usual festivities? The king still can't hold his alcohol?" Scotland could remember drinking said king under the table more than once, it didn't exactly make him popular with the faerie queen or the more dignified members of the court._

" _I'm serious, Alba. Don't tell me you haven't sensed it?" England hissed through gritted teeth, a clear sign of growing impatience._

 _Alistair's smile faded. He had noticed that something had seemed off. A Kelpie had approached him the other day and warned him about a darkness he had seen in one of his few trips to the southern sea. And lately more and more faeries had been trying to sneak into his home. "What are ye onto to?"_

 _Arthur sighed and loosened his tie, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt. He pushed it aside and turned his head for his brother to see. An angry red cut ran along where his shoulder met his neck. Alistair whistled and gently touched the wound. "Mint," Arthur said quietly._

" _What?" Scotland asked withdrawing his hand as if he'd been burned. Arthur buttoned his shirt._

" _I was working from home and got up to get a cuppa. She flew over screeching, the most horrible noise, and cut me with an enchanted dagger. I backhanded her into the wall, and she hit hard, but it seemed to jostle her out of some spell. I thought she was going to say something but she fell into a faint. I managed to use my own magic to send her to her family in Springwood, and to heal what I could of my shoulder."_

" _Do you think…. she was controlled?"_

" _Not a doubt! Mint would never turn on me like that…. And I've been thinking about mum… how she died when we were all so young."_

 _Alistair's eyes widened, "Yeh think Mint's attack on you is linked to… to mum's death?"_

" _I think we have old foes that we have forgotten about Alistair."_

 _Scotland went quiet for a moment, "Maybe," he whispered still not quite believing it. But that wound on Arthur's shoulder, and the way it had not healed as it would've had it been just a normal knife that cut him, it was impossible to ignore._

 _Arthur's eyebrow twitched. "I need to find out what is going on. But it's not like the old days when you just had to work with one king. Now all of bloody Parliament wants know what I'm up too. But I can't exactly tell them that my loyal friend, Mint, the flying bunny, just attacked me with an enchanted dagger, now can I? Already, the MPs think I am a few plums short of a fruit pie," he paused, giving his brother a pointed look before continuing, "If both of us were to disappear there would definitely be talk and questions. We have to keep this swept under the rug for as long as possible. So can you fill in for me and put out fires? I'll call you when I can, but I won't be able to reach you from the shadows."_

 _Alistair sighed and ran a hand through his auburn hair. "Two weeks. If you are not back in two weeks and don't have a good reason for it, I am coming to find you. And what should I do about the other fae? Are they still to be trusted?"_

" _For now._ _I have a feeling that what happened with Mint wasn't planned. If there is some power that can control the fae, why send only one flying mint bunny after me? You and I both know there are a multitude of other creatures: dragons, ogres, the Beast of Bodim… all would have a way easier time killing a nation. No, whoever is behind this intended to lie low for a little while longer. And I bet they still will "_

" _Could it be a trap?"_

 _Albion shrugged, clearly not interested in changing his mind about going. Scotland sighed. "Alba, it will be fine. Just don't run the kingdom into the ground, water my plants, and for God's sake, be sensible for two weeks."_

 _Alistair grumbled a bit about being left behind, but eventually decided to let England go. His brother was as stubborn as a mule, and Scotland didn't want what little credit the four of them had remaining with Parliament to be destroyed. If he went, he would have to ask Cymru or Eire to stay, and Eire would definitely blab. Wales wouldn't, but having two of them on an unexplained "business trip" would still arouse suspicion._

 _The next morning, Alistair had been just about to go on his morning jog when his phone rang. It was Parliament, telling him that as Arthur's listed replacement he better be there during these "turbulent times."_

No, he had certainly never agreed to doing this much paperwork. But unfortunately for bureaucracy, Arthur's two weeks were up, and he was going home and packing tonight. He crammed his laptop into his carrier bag, slung it over his shoulder, and was standing when the door slammed open. Alistair turned around slowly, ready to rip the throat out of whatever sleazy MP dared to stop him. He was not expecting an out of breath Albino nation and a crazy Gilbird. Prussia was bent over with his hands on his knees, Gilbird had started flying circles around him and was frantically pecking at Scotland's clothes, and there were angry shouts around the corner. Suddenly, Gilbert stood up, crimson eyes rimmed in either insanity or excitement.

"What are you wearing! Zis no time for dress shoes!" Gilbert proclaimed, grabbing Alistair's hand before throwing them both out the second story window with a crash of shattered glass. Gun fire sounded behind them and even while falling through space, Alistair could only imagine his brother's fury on returning and seeing his beloved mahogany desk from the 1400s blasted to smithereens. But that unhappy thought quickly passed as instincts honed by centuries of warfare kicked in and Alistair tucked and rolled as he hit the ground. There was a wail of sirens, and the two nations were up and running as machine gun fire rained down on them from the office window.

"Prussia! What is going on?" Alistair asked through gritted teeth as he turned a corner. A couple of young police officers, assault rifles at the ready, turned to face them but were too late. Prussia effortlessly kicked one in the gut, while Scotland quickly disarmed the other with a jab to the elbow followed by a hit on the head, picking up the fallen weapon before beginning to sprint. Big Ben tolled 5:00 nearby as the duo raced towards the Thames. Alistair noted a guard in one of the towers aiming at them and without thinking shot him in the arm with the stolen gun. Arthur was going to kill him for that if his police didn't first. God, sometimes he really hated the English. But then again, this was more fun than he had in decades. Trust Arthur's people to provide a good stress relief.

Suddenly the ground was no longer there, and Alistair threw himself into a dive towards the river's murky waters. The cold water stung his body but he kept swimming downward. Bullets pierced that water around them, and Scotland swam faster. Darkness overtook his vision as he felt along the brick wall for a drainage outlet. There! He twisted his body into it and outside of the main current. He was lucky. This outlet was old and no longer in use, meaning the water there was relatively still. He snagged onto Prussia and quickly swam up the brick tunnel until the water level dropped and they could finally crawl onto dry brick.

Coughing water from his lungs, the Scotsman laid on his back breathing heavily. Prussia was next to him, sitting on his elbows and breathing just as quickly. There was movement in Prussia's shirt pocket, and Alistair saw a grumpy Gilbird emerge and tweet at them. When he could finally breathe again, Alistair turned his head to look at the former nation next to him. "Aye, you have some explaining to do. Starting with where you came from and why on God's green earth the London police were shooting at a British country."

Gilbert smiled, "Well, I was on my way to Paris to convince zat lazy bastard to help me torment Spain because zee awesome me was bored. I was just getting off the train, when you know who I saw?"

"My brother?"

"Close, but no. Mein bruder. Ludwig was there in Paris. And I thought, no way mein bruder's been invited to Paris but zee awesome me has not. And so I followed him from a distance. I swear he had no idea I waz even der."

 _Prussia smiled to himself as he ducked his head away from some chatting tourists coming his way. He was in a good mood and what better way to spend the day than annoying both France and Germany? Sure, maybe it would have been more fun back in the day when he still could have a sword at his side and ride his stallion and nobody would bat an eye…. No. Prussia banished the thought. He would not think of the past as he had promised himself not to think of the future. It was way less painful that way. Shaking his head, he climbed a drainage pipe and landed on an old shop roof as light as a cat before creeping over to the side so he could spy on Germany._

 _He saw his brother stride into an elegant looking building and give his coat to a young man holding the door open. Just then a black Porsche pulled up and a beautiful woman stepped out. Ludwig turned to greet her. Prussia snickered, had Ludwig finally gotten himself a lady-friend? He turned to Gilbird who was sitting on his shoulder. "Hey, zee awesome me has a mission for you. Go spy on mein bruder, I want to know all about this girlfriend of his." Gilbird tweeted a salute and flew towards the building, Prussia thought it may have been a hotel, to get a closer look. He watched as the two went inside and nodded as he watched Gilbird slip in right behind them as stealthy as a true spy._

 _A few minutes passed when Prussia spotted France wearing an expensive-looking coat walk up to the door. Part of him wanted to jump his friend and surprise him, but another part, the more mature side that he kept hidden, the stern and patient part of him that kept him alive even after the disastrous wars of this era, told him to wait, to stay hidden, to let his little soldier do his job._

 _And so wait he did, for an hour or two. When he saw the lady in the black dress who had greeted her brother walk out and get into her waiting car. Prussia waited as he felt his heart start to speed up. Something was wrong. A few minutes later and Gilbird flew out behind an Italian couple walking out of the lobby._

 _The little bird had landed on his forearm and in rushed but quiet tweets he told Prussia the entire story._

Prussia paused and looked over at Alastair. He licked his lips and sighed before continuing. "Zee lady, according to Gilbird, was calling herself "Europa," and the meeting that was being held was an EU meeting. All the EU nations were zere, except for zee awesome me, since I wasn't invited, and England who either wasn't invited or didn't show up. Gilbird said that she had talked for a long time, but it wasn't like most world meetings. England wasn't zere so France and England were not fighting. America wasn't zere either so he wasn't overly enthusiastic about everyzing. And zee Italies seemed a bit intimidated by zee woman. Then somezing strange happened: everybody started falling asleep. Greece was already out, but soon Spain, the Italies, and even France. Apparently Germany had gotten suspicious, and he drew out his gun, and aimed it at zee lady's head. But before he could say a word, she threw a knife in his shoulder, and he collapsed."

"He told zis all to me, and even zee awesome me waz in shock. Nobody hurts mein bruder!"

Alistair nodded. "So like Arthur, you undoubtedly did something stupid."

 _Prussia could not believe his ears. An mysterious woman, all the EU nations apparently drugged, his brother down after a single knife wound. He leapt off the building, tucking and rolling as he hit the cobblestone street, ignoring the disgruntled cries of a couple of teenage girls. There was a police motorcycle parked by the hotel, lights flashing, the officer appeared to be waiting for something._

 _Thankfully Francis's lousy police were nothing compared to the awesomeness of Prussia. He jumped and kicked the officer square in the chest, causing him to topple off the side. With practiced ease, Prussia straddled the saddle and turned into the street. There were shouts in French behind him and flashing lights lit up, but Prussia didn't spare them a second glance. He turned this way and that, dodging cars, vans, and trucks. Kesesesesese, this was far more fun that he had had in ages! Then he heard a shot. He raised an eyebrow, it wasn't like Francis's people to fire into a crowded city. He jumped the curb of the median, hoping to get away from the crowded street, and swerved expertly around a lamp-post when another shot rang out and suddenly he was flying. Prussia twisted in the air, trying to get his sense of space back. He noted with relief that he had not been shot, there was no stabbing pain, most likely his front tire had just been blown out. But soon he was falling too fast and he crashed into a fruit stand._

 _Juices splattered his nice polo shirt and somebody was yelling a him as Prussia quickly tried to get oriented. Suddenly an iron grip had his arm and was tugging him up. "Get up, you idgit!" And then he was running again, England, of all people, leading him through the now chaotic streets of Paris. Shots rang out again, and Prussia quickly ducked behind a lamppost just as it was hit. They turned a corner, Arthur glancing behind them once before pulling them into a cathedral. They raced towards the front and crouched down behind one of the pews._

 _"England! What is going on?"_

 _"No time to explain! Europe is in danger. The World maybe as well. Dark magic will not work in Churches, we are safe here for the moment. I am going to open a portal, send you to England. I need you to grab my brothers and get them out of there. Go see America, his lands are the safest right now. Then come back for us! Do you hear me?" Frantic green eyes searched crimson ones as Arthur tried to shake Gilbert into understanding._

 _"What? No! Arthur, I don't…." but before Prussia could get another word out he was falling through space and time._

And zen, zee awesome me fell right in front of Parliament, and people started to scream, and I made a run for it. I thought one of you might be here so I decided to check.

"Why were they shooting at you?"

"I'm not sure, zey must have gotten trigger happy."

Scotland sighed, this sure was a marvelous mess he had landed in. And for a flesh-and-blood woman to show up just when he was planning on dealing with the faerie realm.


	2. Chapter 2

Cardiff:

Garth, also known as Wales, was having a quiet afternoon, when he did that which he would greatly regret a few seconds later: he turned on the news. "Gunshots fired near the Houses of Parliament! Prime Minister set to give statement at 7:00." The headlines read. And then the camera showed Arthur's office in tatters, the window was completely missing and there were papers everywhere.

"Alistair, can't even run the kingdom for three weeks." Garth sighed, as usual, this would probably end up being his mess to clean up. Alba had told him that Arthur had asked him to take over while he went to investigate a disturbance with the faerie. A disturbance? Garth huffed, he had sensed a growing miasma since the 1790's and everyone had brushed him off. Albion was busy conquering the world, Eire suffered famines and then that split, and Alba had never been one to pick up subtle singles. No, Wales thought looking at the news, Scotland was terrible at all things subtle. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "Come in!"

A disheveled looking Northern Ireland stood in the doorway, his red hair slightly askew and his shirt not quite buttoned evenly. "Have you seen the news?"

"Unfortunately."

"I tried calling Alistair, but he's not answering."

Wales signed and shook out his light blonde hair, gray eyes closing as he fought the headache he felt coming on. "Come in, I have tea ready in the kitchen. I'll try calling both of them again."

Garth sat down on a couch in the sitting room, and pulled out his phone. He was surprised when Alistair answered. "Yeah! Garth! Listen, I'm with Prussia right now. We are near the Tower of London, I managed to use some magic to cover our escape from an old underground drainage system. Nobody screamed, so I am thinking that it worked. But for whatever reason, it kind of took a lot out of me. Arthur is onto something; there is definitely something going on in the faerie realm, not to mention our own. It was the police who were firing on us. And it was completely unprovoked! Trust me."

Garth pressed his lips together. For the police to shoot at anyone unprovoked, much less someone who was clearly British and working in the government, was unprecedented. "You weren't drinking?"

"No, I swear Crymu! Here I be, minding my own business, signing forms, when Prussia bursts in and suddenly Arthur's office is no man's land and we be jumping out the window and ducking under fire."

Wales massaged his temple and sighed, "Well is Arthur back yet? He's the sweet talker when it comes to politicians. Bryan is here. I'm not even going to ask about Prussia."

"No, but Gilbert did see him earlier this morning? In Paris, I believe. Seems as if our wee brother opened a portal…"

"He what?"

"I know England has been paranoid lately, but if he were willing to open a portal between in the worlds and in two major cities, nonetheless. And send Prussia through it, of all nations. And Gilbert claimed the French police had been firing at him too…." Wales heard a clamor on the other end when suddenly Alistair was replaced by the Prussian.

"Hey Wales! I promise you I gave zem no reason to shoot. They just turned! I swear zat I waz stealth personified… and ze awesomeness that is Pru… ah!

"Brother, something is happening. I can sense it. Arthur is missing, something is wrong with the EU nations, not to mention the faerie world. We need to regroup."

"I agree," Garth sighed. It was funny how they now tried to convince him of the very thing that he had been trying to tell them about for two hundred years. But he let it go, saying 'I told you so' would just be a waste of breath. "Bryan and I will wait for you here."

"Okay, we're on our way. Oh, one last thing, Arthur wanted us to go see America, claims his lands are safer. So we might be seeing the kid come morning." Alistair warned, before hanging up. Garth nodded and pocketed his phone.

"So, Arthur's done something stupid? Can't say I'm surprised," Bryan proclaimed from where he was reclining on one of the couches in his brother's living room.

"Oh yes, bawd bach opened a portal between Paris and London."

"The eegit."

"But it gets better, apparently he sent Prussia through it….And….The police were shooting at both Gilbert and Alistair. Not just here, but apparently in France as well. Oh, and sounds like Arthur has inadvertently gotten America involved. No doubt he will be here by tomorrow, guns a-blazing."

Bryan smiled, "Oh sure, like the boyo's goin' have all the fun without us. Not this time." And with that Northern Ireland summoned his staff and silver-plated armor from the faery realm.

Wales eyed his getup disapprovingly. "No one's leaving until we get more details. If you want to do be useful, you can wash the dishes..." his voice carrying off as he watched Bryan's face drain of blood.

"Hey, Eire. Are you alright?"

"God, what am…" Ireland muttered before passing out cold.

Alistair stared out of the Taxi window as it pulled up outside his brother's townhome in Cardiff. He nudged Prussia awake, and the two of them thanked the driver before getting out and walking to the door. Wales welcomed the two of them at the door, and as Scotland walked in, he did a double take when he saw Northern Ireland in full armor sleeping on the couch. Prussia literally stopped.

"I did not know Ireland had such awesome pajamas."

Alistair looked pointedly at Wales, who raised his hands in defense.

"Eire was going on about not wanting Arthur to have all the action, and he pulled his armor out of the ether only to faint right afterwards."

"Aye, we have a storm brewing. When I covered our escape from subterranean London, I felt faint as well. Almost if I had fought five nukelavee in the dark of night when all I did was ensure that passerby didn't notice."

Wales nodded. "It seems as if our access to the fae world is being cut off. No it's more than that. It's as if we are being punished for even trying. Albion harnessing so much power to open the portal may have accelerated things, but this….this...miasma… It's existed before."

"Well best I pull my gear out before it's too late!"

"Wait, Alba!" But his younger brother ignored him. Alistair spread his arms and reached into another world, calling his beloved claymore and highland armor to him. When he felt something thick and dark wrap around him. It entangled around his arms and his throat. He tried to bark a warning to the others but no sound came out. He began to struggle, when suddenly the thick darkness left, leaving only vague shadow. Scotland blinked and quickly tried to access his surroundings when suddenly he heard a great rushing sound. The great darkness returned, rushing over him like a tidal wave. And he knew no more.

Wales caught his brother as he fell backwards. Prussia stared, crimson eyes wide in alarm. "My brothers and I have always had a connection to the faerie world," Wales explained as he gently laid Alistair on the floor. "Think of it like Shakespeare's MidSummer's Night Dream or Narnia, maybe. Usually their world is like eternal spring. And while there is darkness, it has for a longtime been banished to the far corners of the realm. Our mother, Britannia, played a role in that battle, which is why my brothers and I are so welcome there. They fae especially doted on Albion, since he was the youngest and his young eyes could better see and appreciate the magic of their lands."

"So, I take it you guys are not so welcome any more?"

"That's a nice way to put it simply. I fear you too will be dragged into this mess. Get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

* * *

Alistair woke up the next next morning to the smell of eggs frying and the sound of general clamor coming from downstairs. He eyed the antique alarm clock on the table, 6:30. A bit earlier than he was accustomed to waking but what concerned him more was the little red dragon on the alarm clock's face. Wales. Alistair rolled back over and placed an arm over his eyes. How bad had it gotten for Garth of all people to have to drag his sorry arse all the back to Cardiff?

"Hey, Uncle Garth! You don't happen to have anymore chocolate chips? I need them to make these pancakes beyond delicious!" An American voice was shouting up from downstairs.

Scotland opened one hazel eye, and squinted against the light. He hadn't seen America in months, some were even claiming that he was going isolationist again. And for him to be visiting Wales of all people? Usually his eldest brother was more of the stoic, unsociable type. Not that America would really care, but he still thought that the superpower would visit Arthur before Garth. Then he saw his claymore leaning against the wall, and it all came rushing back. Arthur's absence from parliament, the attack in the office, Prussia's involvement, and the darkness in the faerie world.

Immediately Scotland got up, grabbed a robe, and strode out of the room. The scene in the kitchen was one of borderline chaos. America was flipping pancakes using only the frying pan, completely disregarding the spatula. Prussia had commandeered a skillet and seemed to be grilling wurst, smiling like a maniac as he did so. Northern Ireland was still asleep in the coach.

"Apparently Arthur called him right after he sent Prussia over. Said Europe was in danger, and something else but America wasn't really sure because after hearing the word "danger" he proclaimed that the hero would save everyone and booked the next flight to London. How he found us here, I cannot say. Only that he did. He was here by 4:00 this morning," Wales said quietly as he walked up behind Scotland, a dish towel in his hands.

"And apparently he's not tired at all?"

"I don't know how he does it. Sometimes I think he never sleeps." Wales shrugged.

"Well at least we know the secret to getting him out of his isolationist moods. Hey, boyo, how is it across the Atlantic?"

"Aaay, Uncle Alistair! We are good. England called in a panic. I think he may have wanted you guys to come to my place. But it is winter right now, and it's too cold and boring. So I came here instead! There were police all over London, some were eyeing me too, so I pulled my hood up. Wasn't looking to get into a firefight right off the the plane. Apparently someone bombed Parliament or something. Is Arthur alright?"

Boy the lad could talk. "He's currently MIA. And yea, something is wrong with the police. They shot at Gilbert and I. Tore up England's beloved Mahogany desk."

Alfred smirked. "The hero will save the old man! But you have to do the desk shopping."

"Watch who you are calling old, yeh baby," Scotland warned, hitting Alfred over the head.

"Oh yeah, you're like 2700 or something, right? Are we sure you aren't part Neanderthal?"

"No, we're not sure at all," Wales answered, eyeing his brother.

"I'll take both of yeh for that insult," Scotland warned, cracking his knuckles.

"Zee awesome me calls winner," Prussia butted in from his place behind the skillet.

"There will be no fighting this morning." Wales warned looking all three of his companions in the eye. "Now let's go through what we know. Our last confirmed sighting of Arthur was a cathedral in France. And we have most of the rest of the continent that went to that meeting in Paris and never came home. Right? Has anyone been able to get a hold of any EU nation?"

Everyone solemnly shook their heads.

"We also have a situation with the police and an unexplained darkness in the faerie realm."

"Aw my old crazy uncles. Sure you guys don't belong in an asylum?," Alfred spoke up.

"I'm serious, Alfred. Flying Mint Bunny attacked Arthur, North and I fainted simply trying to summon our armor, a Kelpie…"

"Mint did what?!"

Opps. Scotland had forgotten to tell Wales about that little detail. He was hoping to stave off the twenty hours of analysis that was bound to happen.

"Yes, charged him with an enchanted dagger. He thinks someone or something is trying muster powers of manipulation or control. It's the main reason why he left."

"Who charged who with a dagger?" North walked in on the conversation, blinking the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes and dressed in his regular clothes.

"Uh, the Mint bunny attacked Iggy," America added helpfully.

"It waz an enchanted dagger!" Prussia voiced from the kitchen.

"What?!"

Scotland grimaced. No way out of it now. He accounted for the others what Arthur had told him that morning.

"Bloody hell."

Scotland nodded.

"Were any other fae witness to this? Have you asked them if they are aware what is happening?"

"Not that I am aware. I've asked a couple of fairy and nymphs, they all claim that all is right and peaceful at home. A Kelpie was the only one who warned of any darkness."

"Well, sounds like we have two mysteries to solve. So Paris?" America asked.

"What?"

"Paris. That is where the trail runs cold. We should go there," the American explained matter-of-factly.

"Someone needs to go the Faerie Realm," Scotland spoke up.

"And someone needs to stay here and watch our backs. Frankly, with so many personifications missing, the continent is open for an attack," Wales advised.

"Seems like yeh be our man" Scotland elbowed his brother. "We should have someone with sight in each group. America and I will cross the realms. Eire and Prussia to Paris. Wales will be mission control here in Britain."

"But America doesn't possess sight. He won't be able to cross over."

"Ack, he's sensitive enough, seeing ghosts and everything. I'll whip up some salve for him."

"Schieße, I haven't even finished breakfast and we already have a plan."

As Bryan and Gilbert went to pack and Garth finished with the dishes, Scotland started pulling strange vegetables and spices out of the fridge as America watched. The teenager nervously shifted his weight from side to side. "You know, Uncle Al, not that I ain't excited about our magical adventures and saving England's ass and all, but you sure ya know what you're doing?"

"Of course, ye idiot," Scotland proclaimed as he ground some garlic and leeks with a stone. He poured in some honey and water and a pinch of something else and began to mix it all together. He then pulled a vial out of his bathrobe and put a drop in. America gulped as his imagination ran wild. Nope! He had seen this in the movies too many times. These British people were even crazier than he thought. All of 'em. Straight out lost their minds. He was outta here. He turned on his heel when Scottland caught him by the collar and bodily swung him around. Before Alfred could put up a fight, Alistair flipped the American's glasses up into his hair and smeared the paste over his closed eyes.

"You backstabbing…" Alfred shouted as he struggled against the Scot, eyes squeezed shut. Suddenly his uncle let go and backed up. America stopped, hesitantly opened his eyes, and promptly let loose a terrified scream.

Prussia had been ironing a borrowed shirt for the trip to France when he heard the young superpower's blood curdling scream. He shuddered. Northern Ireland laughed. Prussia stared at him before shaking his head: "I am beginning to see why ze kid declared independence. You guys have lost more marbles than Francis."

"There's…. there's a naked woman staring at me!" America yelled, shaky fingers pointed at the window. Scotland looked and sure enough, Willow, a wood nymph who was friends with the Kirklands was just outside the window, doubled over laughing at the young nation's plight. She was also fully clothed in leaves, vines, and flowers.

"That's Willow, ye idgit! She lives just beyond the yard."

"Hello, America! It is good to know that the hero is so scared of me," she waved in a sweet voice.

"Hey Willow, have you seen Arthur at all?"

"No, and I overheard your story about Mint. I can't believe it. I mean Kelpie has been galloping around claiming that war is coming, but he's always been so melodramatic. Everything is as usual. Maybe some tension with the Nightlanders but only a skirmish or two."

"I see."

"I've lost my mind,"

"No, my sweet America! You have just found it! Well I must be off. Good luck Alba, America."

"Thanks, Will!"

"Uh, yeah, thanks?" And with that Willow turned from the window and disappeared.

"Now what weapons do ye fancy?" Alistair asked his nephew.


End file.
